It’s finally over! Alan Corr watched last night’s final of The Voice UK
It was always going to be Leanne. The former holiday camp singer had the best voice and isn’t what this show is all about? She sure can belt them out (without shouting) and, let’s face it, she had the nicest personality. Leanne was giggly, girly and modest while her fellow finalists were, how can I put this, just a tad strange. Vince, the man-child who has channelled his inner Billy Idol doing an impression of Adam Lambert throughout The Voice UK, was weird, Bo was weirder, and as for Tyler, wasn’t he just a bit sappy?
Anyway, don’t we already have a James Morrison (one’s enough thanks) and when it comes to Bo, haven’t we already got a Katie Waissel? But let’s not get ahead of ourselves. The final of BBC’s £10 million musical chairs aka Karaoke klassics got off to a good start when Holly Willoughbys (that gal sure has a lorra front) warned us early that the night’s musical guests were Ed Sheeran (he must be stopped!) and Maroon 5.
Right, so that was the put the kettle on/order a pizza/ fetch another beer break sorted. From then on this needlessly long, and repetitive show (how many times did we need to hear the coaches gush about how fabulous everybody was?) was a bit of an endurance test.
Naturally, it was the finalists you really felt for. Poor old Tyler looked like he was going to pass out or bust out of his skinnies with anguish when it came time (at last!) for the winner to be announced, Bo looked even more like a Medusa-eyed scary thing, and Vince looked like a little boy lost.
Pity them also that they had to be asked over and over and over “how do you feel being in the final of The Voice!!!!?” and how many collages, set to rousing music, of the past 157 weeks of their experience did we have to endure? At least the word “journey” wasn’t used (Simon Cowell has it trademarked apparently). Although, Jesse J did say “growth” at one point and she told Vince (I think) that “a winner is a winner before they win.” How very Zen of her.
But what about the actual performances? Well, Bo sang Nothing Compares 2U (the second time we’ve heard the song sung live in the past 24 hours) and, of course, it wasn’t as good as Sinead on The Late Late Show but why does Bo always use that hiccupping phrasing where she adds extra notes and turns songs into a strangulated exercise in yelping out estuary vowels? Tom Jones, the show’s wise old man, described her as “a stylist.” He was bang on because a career in hair dressing surely awaits Bo. That’s if her inheritance is cut off by daddy.
Leanne sang James Brown’s It’s a Man’s World and as she power-housed (the rest of the finalists mostly power-hosed their songs) her way through it, she was the clear winner. Tyler did his falsetto thing on Jacko’s I’ll be There and yes, the lad can sing (and yes, he’s good-looking) and yes, Jesse J asked him out to dinner again.
Obviously nobody sings the whole song on The Voice UK because, as Nell McCafferty will tell you, young people have the attention spans of consumptive Mayflies these days. Thank god for that because when rinky dinky Vince rolled on wearing extra guyliner and the top half of his gran’s house coat to sing Many Rivers to Cross, I sighed with relief when it ended early.
As for the coaches (not judges dammit!) well will.i.am and Jesse J have probably gained the most (and not just money) from their time on the show. And let’s not forget that the last time Tom Jones enjoyed such a profile he was singing cruddy versions of Kiss by Prince. Danny O’Donoghue has also done well, ratcheting up the profile of his band The Script and was clearly carried away by the drama (well, what he thought was drama) of the night, shedding a tear at least once.
For the final sing off as the voting lines went into meltdown (well so hoped the Beeb) Leanne came on and sang Whitney Houston’s Run to You (sadly, not the cracking Bryan Adams’ song of the same title), and Tyler did a nice cover of Steve Winwood’s Higher Love.
And then it was time for Leanne to win and her reaction was one of stunned silence. We bet she screamed her head off after the cameras were switched off though.
How is The Voice any different from The X Factor? Well, the coaches actually know what they’re talking about and . . . that’s it really. Aside from the use of big red chairs and comedy buttons, The Voice is a show that goes through the same audition process and hyped-up final as The X Factor.
And so Leanne scores a record deal (her single was rush released at midnight), Tyler gets to have dinner with Jesse J, Vince gets used to hearing Jesse J’s answering machine message, and Bo regrets choosing to cover Charlie Brown by Coldplay as her final song.yahoonews24
But do not fret talent show junkies! Just as the credits finished, the Beeb ran an over-excited promo calling on us to enter next year’s second series of The Voice UK. Hopefully by then Leanne will not have sunk without trace.